Been a minute

MySpace GraphicsI have not been on lately and so far behind I really have no time for this but sometimes one must just say what the fuck!!! We got moved only another reminder that I really do not want to do it any time in this decade. My next move has to be into my own house and finish my last real big goal. I actually realize my time track was unrealistic in ways considering this time I believe I can accomplish it all. My book is coming along and as is the house kids are back in school and after I get set up next will be the business. I generally feel overstretched but I am just going at things as they come. I can not believe that it is September already but that is kool also means Halloween is on itsmy decorations already almost up but I will nor get finished this I already know without no doubt. Oh well that is life thou if I have learned anything in life it is to relax and take life as it comes.


MySpace GraphicsSmiling is one of the best things one can do there has been many studies that show laughter is good for one. Why stress over something one can not change or make different what ever will happen will happen and so forth. A.... had court again the great state also had to pick a time when they knew I could not be there possibly. This is the one area that has taught me control most of all. These courts try to knock you off your block. It cracks me up so much when theyhave the nerve to say thet have the families best interest at heart. Trying to save the fam-ily that is so far off base. I know first hand because of what I heard and seen when I was a minor in the system. So I really am amazed when they think they can bullshit me. I hear things come out my oldest mouth that I know they are the words of truth. Words this great state tells her then they come in front of me with lies and untruths dripping from their tongues. Trying to fuck me every step of the way. It amazes me if they can not understand my attitude, I have atteded there little meetings taken time and money out of my pocket. I have had my rights violated jumped thru hoops because of theire bullshit. Still they can not understand my resentment towards them when the spew their lies. I use to get real mad for a while but after awhile I started noticing they got off on me getting upset. They wanted to get me upset claim I was unstable just to have a reason to fuck with me. I have no idea what they get out of messing with me there areso many other kids out there they are suppose to be protecting and yet they mess with me. There are kids out there getting raped beat, starved horrible things. Yet they are wating there time on me and there biggest problem was where I fed my son and I spent too much time with my kids.


MySpace GraphicsThis mystified me how can one spend to much time with one's kids. We have not even 18 years with them and most of that we are not even with them they spend so much time at school or us work. After those years if you even get those they leave home and start there own lifes. There are parents out there ditching there kids with anyone and everyone to be going out and that would be better than spending time with them? Not to mention that one my kids have special needs and the biggest reason being why we were all happy. The kids and me are very close we do all together yet some would say this odd-so what it works for us. I have figured out there game and I will not play. I think that pisses them off that I will not jump thru there hoops no longer. My oldest will be there till she is 18 this I have known a long time there is nothing I can do about this. Evan after she turns 18 I doubt she could ever come home not after her violent past and present. The kids would have to be gone so kowing this whu would should I continue to be punished put thru hoops do this do that. What for for there amusement that is what it boils down to. Even when I show up for there appointments they claim I never was there even if I say I was who would they believe not me? I know that!!!! So now I smile and dont stress why bother smiling is better


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