So much of our lifes we are bound by so many rules and limitations. People say they are free but are we? We definately have some things alot better than some I do not speak the manor of like war and the traditional thought of freedom. They say you have free speech but do we really when it comes down to it. People in power always making us the common person stuff the truth. They have say in alot of what we can do and some of it is for the best. Some things have gotten out of control. I have long ago realized and accepted the government is corrupt and fuck them if they read this because they can invade anyones space any time they feel suspicious.
Many times I could not be suspicious and get away with violating someones feelings and rights. We as society are trained as kids on to believe in police they are the good guy ect. they want them to believe this lie so when they discover the truth it is so much harder to prove. We all know the truth see the truth all the time every day and they will continue to do it because they can.
Then we can get bound by these laws that are for the best right thats why states have laws on them like on sunday it is illegal to get a fish drunk like what the hell is that about like who is gonna do it anyway but tell me they have the right to arrest me for that ya I am a big danger to everyone. We have laws on the books that regulate us on an issues of maryJane god put her on this earth and these ig time people want to make it so bad for you again drilling this into our heads as kids They want eveeryone to believe they do it for the best interest please there best interest.
I mean really look at all the money they lose should we even legalize mary Jane they would lose just the obvious lawyers jails courts ect. Crrime would go down also but more than that all there dare money they get for nothing but twisting facts to suite there needs. Then we get there cut and it is a big cut in the payoffs to them they have their hands in the pie no one can tell me otherwise They will not legalize it cuz they would be broke the most.
So becue thi person wantsto live the commfotable life we the poor are to pa for that also. his rich sob can sit there and dictate to me what I can do with my body with my money I am sory I can not do it wil struggle ad spea out against the unjustice out there but even if we bypass those boundaries we have all these modern appliances to make our life so much better and it is great but at times now I find I am like achild at walt disney world and trying to see everything and not knowing where to begin. I have ben realy chiling ad kickig back he lst cople of days and it fels real god there is so much that culd be doin and yet it felt so wondeful just to sit thre and do nothing and watch a movie or whatever.
Think back even two years ago andI always had time now I never have enough but trying o use it eficiently becaue thn comes the lat bounds we have opn ourselves and thosear iner bounds demon so I cal them Ovethe yeas min hvebecome easier to maintain thru time and understanding. Many of usliving lifes we stilll were 20 years ago. he bounds of age have not semd to realy grasp part of me ralizes I am coming up on 40 for some that migh be a hard one for me it is al about the discovery what I may find out about me.
So much of my 20s was trying to find my place in the world I really had no family and that upset me in the fact I could not find my sister. So after I lost her I guess I floated I did not know where I really wanted to go and maybe I still dont know it is no longer where but more like whenever I settle down buy a house it will be the time to know where I am going. I was btling a war I coldnever of won.
I had wanted it all by the time I was 25 ad to make it worse I had my slipping episodes. Now as I am older than I was I am slowing down I feel for sis for a way she still has no leared o relax and if she dont she gonna explode but has aken me alot to geto this point life is too seriuos to be serious about it I mean I pay attention but people try to knock you off your block Im not letting them not anymore I may show emotion but it is kept under control.
My last bound my daughter my child of my flesh and yet she bound me with these puppet strings for going on four years now man thata blows my mind aways the insanity of a society that let a 11 year old decidee that did not want to stay so she leaves and then subject me to a living hell and putting my kids thru so much more. Still when we have courts they are downplaying it more now well it is crazy I am the bad one ya right with her preaking the law doing as she pleases and then there is me not doing shit but they still have it in there and bring it up at least once and they know it is not true yet the use that every chance.
She still is playing these little games and I am so sick of her shit I lvoe her becasue she is my daughter but god help me after all the mistreatment this child has put me thru I can not say I could ever feel like having her come home. That may sound terrible but it is just the facts I can never trust her here she is a danger and I know should she come and I ever let my guard down it could prove fatal. It is true my daughter has been my abuser for too many years and only recently I have begun to understand how much of a prisoner I have become on her whims.
Leaving an abusive ex is hard leaving an abusive chld is harder and then to have social sevices involved just makes it worse. She plays them like suckers what cracks me up they come in with there little white gloves on and speak to these kids baby them and all this they have no clue of what it is like to be them live on the real world shit by the time she went in she had the system figured out and in turn they have mad her a monster one that I kno I can nver trust to co0me home.
Cna I go to lie where I cld neve hve trust and honesty even in my house could I go thru the fear of what if sh does something do I havethe right to do that to the othe kids. Maybe I am a bitch all I keep thinknin if I would not let my parents nor no other human being mistreat me like this why should I take it from someone I gave birth too and I dont think I should havetoo
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